Thursday, July 9, 2015

Married to a Homebody

July 9, 2015

Dear Cathy:

My husband and I are both retired at age 62. He doesn’t have a lot of friends. He has spent a lot of money on our home making it comfortable for the both of us.  The problem is now that he has fixed up our home, I can’t get him out of the house to save my life.

He use to at least take me out to dinner, a movie and for a walk, but now I can’t get him out of the house.  He keeps busy by doing chores around the house or fixing something up at home.

After that he eats dinner and props himself up in front of the TV until the wee hours of the night.  How can I get him to look at me again and treat me like I should be treated? Sick of Being With a Homebody, Alabama

Dear Sick of Being With a Homebody:

Sometimes especially when men age, they get set in their ways and want to do things only the way they want to do them and when they want to do them -- so trying to get him unstruck from these bad habits will probably be extremely hard.

By making his home comfortable for the both of you, he is saying that his home is his castle.  Many people are homebodies and obviously so is your husband which means they enjoy staying at home instead of going out.

He made your home comfortable for the both of you but relationships just don’t involve staying at home all the time so tell him how you feel.  However, by ignoring you it can cause serious ramifications if he is not careful so make sure to get your point across to him.

When couples retire, they think their life will be one way but it may turn out to be another way so don't get frustrated.  Just because he is a homebody doesn't mean you also need to be a homebody.

If he is still unresponsive to your needs, get female friends, take up hobbies and get a traveling companion and do things outside of your home without him.  You can start by going to for a wide variety of choices.

When he sees that you have other hobbies taking you away from home, it might interest him again to look at other activities especially activities that can involve the both of you so don’t give up.

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