Monday, May 30, 2016

Wife Abusive to Husband

May 30, 2016

Dear Cathy:

I have a friend who is a female and she is abusive to her husband. She uses profanity and talks down at him in front of others. I hate to see what happens when we are not around. Is there help for abusive men? Abusive Husband, Georgia

Dear Abusive Husband:

According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline women can be just as abusive as men, however, the majority of the time, it’s men who are abusing women.

According to the CDC, one in seven men age 18 and over has been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in his lifetime. One in 10 men has experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner.

In past years, 13% of documented contacts to the Hotline identified themselves as male victims. Although they make up a smaller percentage of callers to the Hotline, there are likely many more men who do not report or seek help for their abuse, for a variety of reasons.

In our culture, men are socialized not to express their feelings or see themselves as victims. Young boys are taught not to express their emotions, to suck it up and be a man. This can be extremely detrimental to boys as they age, especially if they find themselves in an abusive relationship.

Men may feel discouraged to talk about what’s going on in their personal lives, or they feel like no one will believe them. They may not even realize that they are being abused or they might assume they should just deal with the abuse on their own.

So therefore, many mothers and fathers need to explain to their sons, just like they do to their daughters, not to take any type of abuse, whether it be verbal or physical abuse from their partners. And if they do they need to seek help and get out of the relationship.

Women are in charge of buying groceries which could be a major reason for domestic violence today. Your food, especially today with the GMO processed foods, causes anger. 

Foods affects every area of your life – from your mood, behavior, happiness and entire quality of life. The GMO processed food is so toxic that the organ in charge of emotions, the liver, can’t break it down, so therefore, most people’s livers are only operating at 30%. So it’s essential to eat and live a natural and holistic lifestyle, especially to keep your emotions under control.

Sunday, May 29, 2016

Pets Keeping Me Unhealthy

May 29, 2016

Dear Cathy:

I am in my 40s, single and never married. My dog and cat cost a lot to feed and keep. I have been feeling really sick and can’t afford to eat organic and other good food so I am thinking about giving up my pets. Is this a good idea? Giving Up Pets, Arkansas

Dear Giving Up Pets:

At the end of the day you have to realize that despite what most people think, their pets are not human beings. Sure we love our pets and they make our lives worth living, however, when it comes down to it, your pets can be quite expensive.

By asking this question, you already know what you need to do, so I am just agreeing with you. You need to give up your pets and use the money that you are spending on them on yourself.

Not only do pet owners spend too much money to maintain their pets, many pet owners are allergic to their pets. You don’t have to break out in red spots or sneeze all the time to be allergic to your pets. Also both dogs and cats can carry diseases which they can pass on to humans.

Living in a natural and holistic environment will be key to being healthy. So it’s important as part of any health regimen to clean up the air quality in your home, and it’s impossible to do this with pets.

Friday, May 27, 2016

Girlfriend Jealous of Boyfriend’s Kids

May 27, 2016

Dear Cathy:

My boyfriend has two kids by his ex-wife, pre-teens, which are boys. He spends as much time with them as possible, so it is good to know he is a good dad. However, the problem is he takes them on trips, to nice restaurants, and other nice places but all we do is stay at home and I cook all the time. He should be moving in soon with me but is it right for me to feel jealous of his boys? Jealous of Children, Alabama

Dear Jealous of Children:

No you are not wrong to feel jealous of his boys especially when he is not treating you like a man should treat a woman. Remember “Men Are From Mars and Women From Venus, so when it comes to courtship, some men are totally lost in that department. This could also be a reason why he and his wife split.

His bond with his boys is forever and it is probably easier for him to bond with them than you, so that will never change. However, what needs to change is your relationship to him.

Have a talk with him and let him know that you feel he neglects you in the romance department. Tell him if he moves in what is expected of the relationship. Relationships just doesn’t consist of staying at home all the time, so make sure he understands how you feel. Or you need to rethink your relationship with him.

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Sister Never Changed Her Diet After Cancer Treatment

May 24, 2016

Dear Cathy:

My oldest sister is 70 years old and she had cancer, multiple myeloma. I watched my sister suffer from this cancer for several months. She was cured with stem cell treatments at a major hospital in our city. However, since her treatment she still eats a horrible diet. Is there anything that we need to know about cancer so that we can help her change her ways? Cancer Diagnosis, Kansas

Dear Cancer Diagnosis:

Cancer is the 2nd largest killer in the U.S. Multiple myeloma is sometimes called bone marrow cancer, which affects plasma cells in the bone. It may cause symptoms such as bone pain, unexplained fractures, fatigue and other symptoms.

Just remember that all cancers are the same. It's an immune system, food and environmental disease. Once your sister strengthens her immune system, clean up her diet and her inside environment by using natural products to clean with and on her body, she has just decreased her chances of ever coming down with cancer again.

What you need to understand is that getting old doesn't make you sick but getting sick makes you old. Older Americans are especially at risk for cancer because of their weak immune systems.

Many cancer patients have to conduct research on their own because doctors will treat them, but will give them very little information or education on why they came down with cancer in the first place.

Doctors also don’t explain to patients that the cancer can return if they don’t build up a strong immune system, eat good food, and clean up their environment.

The Genetically Modified (GM) (processed) foods today are one of the major reasons that many people, especially older Americans, are coming down with cancer in the first place. If she never changed her diet, there is a high risk that somewhere down the line, she will come down with cancer again.

The cancer industry is big business. It’s a billion dollar industry (a $200 billion industry a year). One in four people will get cancer in their lifetime. That’s 25%! The average treatment cost is over $200,000 per person.

Many thousands are employed in, or associated with, the cancer industry including the, American Medical Association (AMA), American Cancer Society (ACS), National Cancer Institute (NCI), drug companies, doctors, hospitals, pharmacists, healthcare providers, medical equipment suppliers, etc. and the CEOs and staff don’t ever expect to have their paychecks reduced. So the goal is for doctors to keep patients sick and dying from cancer.

Monday, May 23, 2016

Girlfriend Wants To Experience Other Men Before Marriage

May 23, 2016

Dear Cathy:

I have only been with my high school boyfriend sexually. Now that we have graduated and both have jobs, he has asked me to marry him. Our sex life is okay but it’s nothing to brag about, so I don’t want to spend the next few years of my life wondering what it would be like to be with other men. I feel that I need to experience other men sexually before marriage. Is this a good idea? Seeking Other Partners, Missouri

Dear Seeking Other Partners:

It’s never a good idea to sleep with other partners because you might bring home a disease that you can’t get rid of or you might end up pregnant. However, since you are young, you should tell your boyfriend to hold off on the engagement and just stay engaged for a while before settling down. 

This way you will have more breathing room to make your decision about marriage. However, if you want to experience other men sexually, then you are definitely not ready for marriage, at least not to your current boyfriend. 

Both of you might also want to see some type of sex therapist or counselor. Many couples do before and after marriage to improve their sex life. I am sure you and your boyfriend both have a lot to learn. 

Level with your boyfriend about your feelings to see if both of you can work this out or if he is willing to see these experts. However, if the answer is no, then both of you may want to move on.

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Should I Still Date My Ex-Boyfriend After Moving Out Of His House?

May 22, 2016

Dear Cathy:

I moved in with my boyfriend a year ago but things did not work out so I am preparing to move to another city. My ex-boyfriend is trying to hold onto the relationship even though he is the one that said we needed to part.

He wants to continue to see me after I move out. Should I allow him to continue to be in my life or should I break off ties with him altogether? Breaking Off Ties, Connecticut

Dear Breaking Off Ties:

The fact that your boyfriend was the one that said you guys needed to part is a clear sign that you need to move on and break off ties from him completely.

Don’t burn any bridges because I am sure you and he can be great friends and who knows what might happen down the line, but for now you need to spend time working on your own self, while getting out there and meeting other people.

In order to do this you need to break off all ties with him. Tell him it’s best that you don’t see each other for a while when you leave and don’t give him a key to your new place or go anywhere that you know he will be. Even avoid his phone calls if he calls or texts.

Remember, this new place will be your sacred place to work on your own self and to prepare you to go in a new direction in your life. Go to and join groups or form your own group and think about starting a hobby, business or just travel. Now is the time for you to get around other people and see what other possibilities are for you out there.

You lived together and for some reason it did not work out so it's time to move on. Some women (and men) spend years hanging on to these types of relationships, which can stop their true loves or soulmates from coming into their lives. Now is the time for you to be opened for something new and exciting. The world awaits!

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Grandfather Won’t Acknowledge Grandchildren

May 17, 2016

Dear Cathy:

I moved to the city where my mate lives and moved in with him 2 years ago. We are both retired. He has yet to introduce me to any of his family, even though they only live one hour away.

He has 5 children and 10 grandchildren. I have 3 kids but no grandkids yet of my own. Even though my mate text his children and they text him back, as far as I can tell, he is not actively involved in the rearing of his grandchildren and probably don’t even know their names.

I am old fashioned and enjoy being around family. So I find this really odd and uncomfortable because I enjoy my entire family and want them to be a part of my life. Is it strange for a grandfather to not to actively want to be involved with his grandchildren? Missing Family Time, Michigan

Dear Missing Family Time:

Women are nurturers and men are not, so their attitudes toward their families will probably be different. Just remember that n
o two families are alike. 

If your mate was married before or with his children’s mother, then it would probably be uncomfortable for him to take you around them. Many couples just don’t want to make others feel uncomfortable, especially their children, even though they are all adults now.

If he is talking to his children by text, then he is obviously in touch with them and is ready to help if there is any type of issue or problem. The fact that he has never introduced them to you don’t really seem strange at all. 

Unless you are with him all the time, you don't know that he is not actively involved with his children or grandchildren because many men don't share everything. 

Also don't forget that many children and grandchildren are very needy, which means they are always asking for things, especially from grandparents, so there could be a lot of reasons why your mate has chosen not to have an up-close relationship with his family.

When your children have children, continue to have a close relationship with them and forget about your mate and his attitude with his children and grandchildren. 

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks and he is probably too set in his ways, so don’t make a big deal out of it. Just focus on your relationship with your mate, your children and upcoming grandchildren.

Monday, May 16, 2016

Should I Allow My Ex-Mate To Help Me Move Out of His Place?

May 16, 2016

Dear Cathy:

I have known my ex-mate for 15 years and after we both retired, we moved in together. However, it did not work out, so I am moving out of my boyfriend’s place after 3 years. We had some good times but overall we were just not compatible, so we both agreed a separation was needed.

I had it pretty good while living there. I only paid for my food and car note and he paid all the other utilities. I want a new start and prefer that he did not know where I moved even though I am only moving 5 hours from him to another city.

I don’t have a lot of money to move and he has offered to assist me in the move and to help furnish my new place. So should I allow him to assist me, even though he will have my new address or should I try to do the move by myself, which will be a hardship on me. Hoping for New Start, New Jersey

Dear Hoping for New Start:

Life goes on and when you realize that you are not compatible with someone, it's time to make changes in your life. Who knows what the future might bring. Somewhere down the line, both of you might find your way back to each other.

But meantime why continue to waste some of the best years of your life in a situation where you are not happy. If you and your boyfriend are parting as friends and you both agreed on the separation, then why put pressure on yourself if you don’t have people to help you move or can’t afford movers.

If he has offered to pay for everything and to assist you with furnishing your new place, then why not take his charity, this one last time. This way you also don't have to walk away from the relationship with nothing, so allow him to help you furnish your new place and with the move.

Both of you are too old to be playing games. Like you said you guys have known each other for 15 years, so you have history together. As long as the relationship was not volatile, then I don’t see why you should not take his charity.

He is offering to help you with the move and to furnish your new place, which is his way of showing you that he appreciated you being in his life, which is a generous gesture on his part.

It's always great to have good friends. Try not to burn bridges with him because he seems like a good friend to have in your corner in the future.