Friday, July 3, 2015

Should I Leave Financially Secure Mate?

Jul. 3, 2015

Dear Cathy:

At 55, I am being wooed by 2 different suitors who live in other states.  One I think I could be happy with, even though I have been living with my current mate for over a year.  My mate and I have a long history together, an on and off relationship for the past 20 years, and even though I have not been unfaithful to him, six months ago he stopped showing any affections toward me. 

I have tried to talk to him about issues he might be having but he abruptly tells me he doesn’t want to talk about anything.  So I am torn between leaving him because of his lack of desire for affection for me even though he is financially secure.  What should I do?  Financially Secure Mate, San Diego

Dear Financially Secure Mate:

Six months is a very long time but before bolting for the door, first talk to your mate and ask him if you both can go and see a family therapist or counselor.  Even though he might have some type of health issue that he is not willing to share with you, if he is not opened to the idea of working with these individuals, then maybe it’s time to try something new.  

However, instead of jumping from relationship to relationship, maybe you need to spend some time alone to work on your own self.  Many men (and women) don’t know that they are making their mate unhappy and sometimes you might even need to put it in a letter.  Remember “Men Are From Mars” and “Women Are from Venus.”

Life is short and despite being with someone who is financially secure, money don’t make anyone happy and it certainly can’t buy happiness.  Just remember, however, that the pastures are not always greener on the other side so you might need to work on loving your own self before making a leap to leave your mate. 

You have a long history with your mate so ask yourself if you are actually being true and trying to work things out or is your mate totally unresponsive to your needs.  But still I would not stay with anyone that is totally ignoring your needs.  Again, life is too short!!!

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