Stuck Back At Home With Mom

April 30, 2016

Dear Cathy:

I finished with college 5 years ago. I went home to visit my mother and my car was stolen. I was in the process of moving to another city. I had all my belongings in the car, so now I have no other choice but to stay home with my mom. I don’t really get along that good with my mom and I hate asking her for help, so what are my other choices. Stuck At Home, Michigan

Dear Stuck At Home:

If you had a job or another prospect lined up in another city, then you should continue your plans to move. However, it’s hard moving to another city if you don’t know others and don’t have transportation. But still it can be done.

Since most of your personal items were stolen in your car, you have to start collecting them again. So you can always stay put, stay home with your mom, get a job there and save enough money to buy a car, so you can move. This might take a few months, but sometimes in life, things happen to put us where we really need to be.

I know you feel this is a set-back for you but sometimes, set-backs can be the best thing for you. Just remember this situation is temporary and that a "temporary defeat is not a permanent failure." 

It can give you time to really think about your life and the direction you are heading, so don’t let this detour any future plans to get out there and live your best life ever.

Should I Tell My Family I Write Erotica Books

April 30, 2016

Dear Cathy:

I was brought up in a very strict Christian household, where we went to church at least 3 days a week. I left home about 10 years ago after college and now live out west. 

I only go back home once a year for a family reunion. I have been working as an educator and secretly writing erotica e-books on the side and make a nice living at doing it. I use a pen name so no one, but a few of my best friends, know that I do this for a living.

My mother and father are getting up in the years, so I am tempted to tell them about what I do, so they can be proud of me. However, I believe my 5 siblings won’t understand and will turn my family members and others against me. What do you think? Writing Erotica Books, California

Dear Writing Erotica Books:

You should do what you feel comfortable doing. Only you know your family, after all, you grew up with them. However, telling your family about you being an erotica author could backfire on you.

Many will probably be proud of you for doing this on your own, but others will probably be very critical that you chose to do this, including your siblings. 

However, this is your life, and you should not allow the opinion of others to taint anything that you are doing. You have chosen to live your life the way you are living for a reason, so why allow the opinion of others to influence anything that you do.

Your parents are already probably proud of you for being an educator, so do they really need to know that you are writing erotica books? 

As an educator, I am sure you are keeping this from those that employ you and those that you work with, so why do you feel you have to tell your family?

One day it will be right for you to tell everyone, but maybe for now, it’s not the right time. Only you will know when it’s the right time.

How Do I Find Holistic Doctors in My Community?

April 27, 2016

Dear Cathy:

Can you recommend a list of Holistic Doctors in the Desoto, Duncanville, and Dallas areas? Seeking Help, Dallas

Dear Seeking Help:

First of all you need to understand upfront that there are holistic and natural communities in every city. Holistic healers and doctors are all around you. These natural and holistic healers don’t necessary call themselves doctors, but keep in mind that they are healers. 

Many are on the internet and in your community and they offer their services by email, phone, and videos. Many specializes in a certain areas, just like most doctors, but most works with the entire body.

What you also need to understand is many holistic and natural healers are doing this type of work because they were successful in healing their ownselves, especially after Western doctors failed them.

Holistic or “wholistic” healing addresses all parts of the individual, not just the physical aspect of a person, where manifested illnesses are most apparent. What primarily distinguishes holistic healing apart from Western medicine is that physical health is not necessarily the main focus. 

Even so, it is often the experience of physical discomfort that will first prompt a person’s pursuit of holistic healing. The holistic healer recognizes that our discomforts or pains are merely symptoms of an imbalance. The imbalance could be a physical issue, the result of abusing the physical body through an unhealthy diet, lack of exercise, or too little sleep. 

Or, the imbalance may be the result of mental, emotional, or spiritual needs not being met. No aspect (mind, body, spirit, or emotions) of a person is overlooked when a holistic treatment is sought. 

First of all I would suggest that you go to the website, www.RenewLife.com, and put in your zip code in the store locator. Every health and wholefood store in your area should come up, especially the stores that sells the line of RenewLife.com products, which I have used for the past 9 years.

Talk to the managers of these stores and they should be able to provide you with a list of holistic and natural healers in your area, along with organic farmers, who can tell you, what to grow and when to grow it.

Next, I would seek out the help of a kinesiologist, also try the phone book for this specialist, who can look at your blood under a microscope. Live Blood Cell Analysis is carried out by placing a drop of blood from the patient’s fingertip on a microscope slide, under a glass cover slip to keep it from drying out. 

Live Cell Blood Analysis is simple, quick and accurate. For example, with a simple drop of blood drawn painlessly from your finger, the test is able to provide a composite of over 25 aspects. 

Livecell microscopy can show the following: 
• The condition of red blood cells
• Free radical damage to the blood cell and the need for antioxidants
• Acid/alkaline balance in the body
• The tendency to develop atherosclerotic plaque and hyper-clotting disorders
• Bacteria, parasites, Candida/yeast/fungi (indirect measurement)
• Undigested proteins and fats
• Evidence of hormonal imbalances
• Folic acid, B12 and iron deficiencies
• Uric acid crystals and risk for gout
• Poor circulation, oxygenation levels

Remember Western doctors can tell you are sick if you are running a fever, or if your numbers (blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol, triglycerides, etc.) are out of range. And this is why they take your temperature when you go there, but holistic healers, especially kinesiologists, will look at your blood under a microscope. 

You can buy pH strips yourself to test your first saliva or urine of the day, but the blood is the most telling of all, so try to work with a kinesiologist to bring your body back in balance. 

Remember if you have an “acidic body,” you are moving toward sickness, disease, and death, and if you have an “alkaline body,” you are moving toward living an energetic life, full of vitality. So the goal is to live an alkaline lifestyle. 

You can learn more about this by taking the 12 steps in my health book “How To Take Control of Your Own Life: A Self-Help Guide To Becoming Healthy Over the Next 30 Days” – which is available as an e-book and paperback book at www.AngelsPress.comhttp://www.angelspress.com.

In Need of Other Living Arrangement

April 27, 2016

Dear Cathy:

I am in my 20s and is pretty independent, however, I might need to move again soon. I am now living in a one bedroom apartment. I am currently going through financial difficulty and can no longer afford my rent. What are my choices? Down and Out in Philly

Dear Down and Out:

Things might seem bleak at this time, however, many times when these sought of things happens, it is putting you in the position that you really need to be in, in order to move forward and take control of your own life, so look at these upcoming changes in your life as ‘blessings in disguise.’

Every day when you make a step in another direction, you are getting one step closer to figuring out your true life’s purpose. The goal is to take action and continue to move forward and remember that “life without struggles -- would be no life.”

Now for some of your options. If you are working, you might need to find another part-time or another full-time job. If you have a business that is not bringing in as much money as you would have hoped, then find a part-time or full-time job, to help pay the bills.

If you are having to downsize from a one bedroom apartment, you can move someone else in the place with you, who can help with rent. Most one bedroom apartment leases today will allow you to have two persons on the lease. So many students put a pull-out sofa or some type of other bed in the living room and call it a day. You can also probably do this in a studio apartment.

If you live close to a college or university, you can place a notice for a roommate on their bulletin boards. College students are always trying to find a place to stay. 

Many people today will buy a house and try to fill it with 3 or 4 roommates, so this is always an option for you. You can go to www.roommate.com or www.easyroomate.com and other roommate sites for about $18 to $20 a month, and try to find a roommate.

Because of the economy, many extended stay hotels have turned into living quarters for people, so this too is another option for you.

You can also look at putting your belongings in storage and move in with a relative or friend, which might include moving to another state, until you find yourself in a better situation financially. The goal again is to continue to move forward.

Husband and Wife Are Compulsive Eaters

April 22, 2016

Dear Cathy:

I weigh almost 350 pounds and so do my wife. We don’t have any kids yet. We started to eat after we were married 5 years ago and it’s like we can’t put the fork down. However, I am ready to commit to working out with a trainer in a fitness program but my wife refuses to do this with me. 

 I know I need to lose this weight so at this point I will undergo the program alone. However, I am worried about my wife sabotaging my efforts during and when I finish with the program. What can I do? Compulsive Eating, Pennsylvania

Dear Compulsive Eating:

A person with symptoms of compulsive overeating has what can be characterized as an addiction to food. They use food and eating as a way to hide from or manage their emotions or to cope with daily stresses and problems in their lives.

Food is gratifying for them. Instead of falling more in love with themselves as a couple, they have fallen in love with food. This could include binge eating or eating uncontrollably even when not physically hungry; depression and mood swings; withdrawal from activities because of embarrassment about weight.

I see this all the time with many couples who get married or move in together. Unless one person finally have enough and put their foot down, then there is no way that lifestyle changes can take place and that is what needs to happen – lifestyle changes.

First of all, you and your wife need to get a complete physical from head to toe to make sure both of you are fit enough to exercise. 

You might want to look at gaining access to a pool, which is a great way to start off in any fitness program, especially because of your size. Otherwise, I would suggest walking.

If after getting a complete physical and committing to a workout program, which should also consist of education around food, like you said -- if your wife doesn’t get aboard with you, then all your efforts might be sabotaged during and after you finish your workout program. 

Many couples have even chosen to go their separate ways, simply because one wasn’t willing to commit to getting healthy. So hopefully, she will come around if she truly wants your marriage to work. However, the goal is to take baby steps.

Boyfriend Has Drinking Problem

April 19, 2016

Dear Cathy:

My boyfriend has a drinking problem. We have been living together for 5 years. He knows he has a problem so he will be entering a treatment program for the first time. The problem is he wants me to also stop drinking for at least a year, however, I don’t think it is fair for him to ask me to do that. What do you think? Drinking in Indianapolis

Dear Drinking:

If you were his drinking buddy that landed him in this trouble in the first place, then by all means, the request is not unreasonable. But if you were the type of person who had an occasional drink, then that’s a different story.

It still should be okay for you to have an occasional drink when you are away from home – away from him – as long as you don’t flaunt it in his face.

If you truly want this man to be in your life, then you should do everything you can to show him you care, and that starts with supporting him by giving up alcohol for a year.

Alcohol is not good for anyone. It does nothing but keeps your body acidic and makes it a breeding ground for illnesses and diseases. When people have bad habits such as drinking alcohol, all they need to do is to replace it with something more constructive, which should not be that hard to do.

Instead of drinking alcohol, do more to work on yourself such as take up yoga and meditation, which are the best two exercises for your brain. Then once he gets out of his treatment program, you can also get him involved with your new activities.

Veteran Might Snap

April 18, 2016

Dear Cathy:

My boyfriend is a Vietnam Veteran and he has a 100% disability, even though he hasn’t got any physical wounds. He never talks about what happened to him in the war. 

We have been living together for 7 years and I have two teenage daughters. I just want to make sure my daughters are going to be okay around him.

His ex-wife said he was always gentle with their 3 kids so I am sure my daughters will be okay. Most of the time he seems fine but sometimes he acts as if he has bipolar disorder, where his attitude changes. 

Could he have issues with his time in the military and are there other things I can do besides helping him get help from the Veteran’s Administration (VA)? Seeking Help for Veteran, Virginia

Dear Seeking Help for Veteran:

I think many veterans from the Vietnam war was awarded 100% disability, whether they had any apparent mental or physical wounds. The fact that it was a horrific war, the Veterans Administration (VA.gov), awarded benefits to anyone who applied for them. However, many veterans don't know they can receive these benefits.

I have known many people who served time in the military, even in the Vietnam war, who got out and did excellent, even those with 100% disability. So there could be something more than just what happened to him in the war.

However, if he has a 100% disability, then he might need to work with VA counselors and other professionals to help him to heal mentally. 

Today, many men, women, including teenagers and even younger children, are being diagnosed with bipolar disorder and other brain issues.

Bipolar disorder is an illness of the brain and foods today, especially Genetically Modified Organisms (GMOs), which are in all processed foods can cause bipolar disorder.

The GMO foods today really aren’t foods. People are sitting down at the table for three meals a day and there is no nutrition at the table. People are “Living To Eat” instead of “Eating To Live,” which means they are filling up on “empty calories” and eating foods that have nutritional value. This of course will cause anyone's brain to go haywire.

Since bipolar disorder is an illness of the brain, it’s imperative that everyone rewire their brains by eating brain foods and taking brain supplements. Foods can certainly affect how you feel, your mood, your happiness and your entire quality of life.

Also families are cleaning their homes with toxic products and applying toxic products to their skin, without even thinking if these can make a difference in how you feel.

The liver is the organ in charge of emotions, energy and obesity, so once you make sure he sees a counselor or professional, the only other thing you can do after that, is to work on his diet and make sure you clean up the air quality in your home. 

Women are in charge of buying groceries, cleaning products and body products in most homes, so it will be you that will have to make sure he gets what he really needs.

Mate Tries to Micromanage My Life

April 14, 2016

Dear Cathy:

For close to 25 years I worked in a volatile environment on my job. I guess you can classify it as a hostile working environment. My managers who were usually men, always micromanaged their employees.

Now that I am retired, I moved in my boyfriend's house, who I have known for 10 years. I don’t think he is abusive but he does tend to try to micromanage our lives.

He is a very neat individual and I am not so he does not like things out of place. He constantly tells me what I did wrong or if I left a mess behind.

Sometimes he makes me feel the same way that I felt in the workplace so are these types of relationships a form of domestic mental abuse. Domestic Mental Abuse, Detroit

Dear Domestic Mental Abuse:

Yes these types of relationships could be described as a form of mental abuse in a relationship, especially when you have one partner trying to control or micromanage everything.

If it reminds you of what you went through for years in the workplace, then there is no way it can be a healthy relationship so maybe you need to think about moving out and being on your own for a while.

This can also sometimes happen when women move in a man's residence with him, instead of renting a place or buying a home together.

Because of what you went through for years in the workplace, sometimes it takes a while to heal from your ordeal. Sometimes you might need time to yourself to work on your own self, before allowing anyone else to be in your life.

Your boyfriend might be a good mate but you need to discuss with him how you feel. Maybe the both of you can see a professional, someone who can bring more light to your situation.

Mental abuse comes in all fashions, shapes and forms. If you do decide to stay together, it's imperative that both of you work on the relationship because no one should be made to feel like an outsider in a relationship. Relationships are suppose to be loving, caring and about supporting one another.