Thursday, April 14, 2016

Mate Tries to Micromanage My Life

April 14, 2016

Dear Cathy:

For close to 25 years I worked in a volatile environment on my job. I guess you can classify it as a hostile working environment. My managers who were usually men, always micromanaged their employees.

Now that I am retired, I moved in my boyfriend's house, who I have known for 10 years. I don’t think he is abusive but he does tend to try to micromanage our lives.

He is a very neat individual and I am not so he does not like things out of place. He constantly tells me what I did wrong or if I left a mess behind.

Sometimes he makes me feel the same way that I felt in the workplace so are these types of relationships a form of domestic mental abuse. Domestic Mental Abuse, Detroit

Dear Domestic Mental Abuse:

Yes these types of relationships could be described as a form of mental abuse in a relationship, especially when you have one partner trying to control or micromanage everything.

If it reminds you of what you went through for years in the workplace, then there is no way it can be a healthy relationship so maybe you need to think about moving out and being on your own for a while.

This can also sometimes happen when women move in a man's residence with him, instead of renting a place or buying a home together.

Because of what you went through for years in the workplace, sometimes it takes a while to heal from your ordeal. Sometimes you might need time to yourself to work on your own self, before allowing anyone else to be in your life.

Your boyfriend might be a good mate but you need to discuss with him how you feel. Maybe the both of you can see a professional, someone who can bring more light to your situation.

Mental abuse comes in all fashions, shapes and forms. If you do decide to stay together, it's imperative that both of you work on the relationship because no one should be made to feel like an outsider in a relationship. Relationships are suppose to be loving, caring and about 
supporting one another.

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