Kids Resisting New Move

Jan. 8, 2016

Dear Cathy:

I am a single mother and I need to relocate for my job 3 states away from my parents. My company provided us with temporary housing for a couple of months so basically we just have to move in. However, my kids who are 10 and 11, are very unhappy about the move. I am thinking about leaving them behind with my mother and father until school finishes in about 3 months, but my mother hasn’t been feeling well. What do you think? Loss for Words, Kansas

Dear Loss for Words:

Being a single mother will take a lot out of you but remember you are the boss. Kids ages 10 and 11 don’t have any say so about what you decide to do as an adult. 

Three months is a very long time to be without your children, especially to leave them in the hands of someone who is not well.

Whether your kids want to move or not, it comes down to one thing, you – you make the decision. Would it be a hardship for you to leave them behind? Would it be a hardship on your mother? 

Kids at that age are resilient and usually can adjust to change and face it, kids at that age, need to be with their mother. However, I would not make this statement if they were in high school. 

Kids in high school have a really hard time leaving their friends behind but now is a good time for you to move so your children can adjust to their new surroundings.

Make the move fun by stopping along the way sightseeing, taking pictures and videos -- so tell your kids that they will be moving but let them know what they will be able to see along the way. Again make the trip fun.

Running Into Road Blocks At Every Turn

Jan. 6, 2016

Dear Cathy:

I would like to move forward and help people by doing my part in this world but I have been met with many road blocks, which have been like a bulldozer, so I don’t know which way to turn. How should I proceed from here? Road blocks, Connecticut

Dear Road Blocks:

The reason you have road blocks in your life is you have not sat down and wrote down what you really want out of your life. Now that it’s New Year this is important more than ever. Write down 5 to 10 things that you want to see accomplished this year and everyday that you get out of bed, you move in the direction of those goals.

When you write things down, it makes them real. Put the list somewhere where you will see it everyday such as on a bulletin board, refrigerator, bathroom wall or mirror, etc.

Before you can make anything happen in your life, you first have to visualize it so it’s important to take 20 to 30 minutes everyday to "meditate" - when you are lying in bed, on the floor, in a comfortable chair or in your car during lunch hours at work. While you mediate you can listen to music or just use this as a quiet time to organize your thoughts.

Are you hanging out with others that is stopping you from living your dreams? If you are hanging out with the wrong crowd, then you can forget moving forward so this is the time to reevaluate who you are hanging out with -- to see if you need to distance yourself away from them.

You can find some great new people in a meetup.com group so go to this website and look for health or business groups in your area and get around “co-dreamers” that will help you make your dreams come true.

Whether you write down your goals, take time out to meditate or get around co-dreamers, none of this will work if you have not put your health first, especially if you are not eating good brain foods.

We all learned in school that the brain affects every area of your body. So remember when your brain works right, you work right. Until you turn your brain back on, you will continue to run into road blocks.

Foods affects every area of your life, from your mood, to your behavior, happiness and entire quality of life so you need to be eating good, natural and organic foods, especially foods for your blood type so read the book “Eat Right 4 Your Type” and implement the 12 health steps into your life from my health book “How To Take Control of Your Own Life: A Self-Help Guide To Becoming Healthier Over the Next 30 Days" (available as an e-book and paperback book). 

In just 30 days, you can remove many road blocks from your own life, simply because you have rewired your brain to give you more options to take control of your own life. 

Couple Needs To Shop Online

Jan. 5, 2015

Dear Cathy:

My husband is 50 years old and I am 49.  We still have a great sex life and like trying new things.  He wants me to go to an adult sex store but I know other shop owners next to the store so I am too embarrassed to go.  I told him I would only go if I wore a disguise.  What should I do?  Embarrassed, Arizona

Dear Embarrassed:

Don’t stress about it.  Wearing sunglasses or some sort of disguise will only draw more attention to you.  Think of it this way -- if you run into someone you know, then you need to realize they are there for the same purpose so who are they to judge.

Once you’ve been able to get over the initial anxiety of going in, you’ll be fine.  I am certain you are not the first person that has felt this way.

However, judging by the age of both of you, you both must be old school and not 'tech saavy' because today, you can buy everything online.  So whatever your husband and you are looking for, you can just order it online.

Go to Google.com and put in the words “online sex store” or “online adult sex store” and you will have the world at your fingertips.  Everything that your husband and you desire will be online so stop feeling embarrassed.

Over 50% of men have some form of Erectile Dysfunction (ED) by age 40 so for your husband to still want to play sex games, both of you should be commended and congratulated.

Is It Safe To Mix Medications and Detox Herbs?

Dec. 23, 2015

Dear Cathy:

I really would like to engage in a detox program, however, I am on 5 medications so I am afraid to mix the herbs for the detox with my medications so how should I handle this? Medication Mixing, North Carolina

Dear Medication Mixing:

The number one reason that many people die in this country is from "organ failure."  The number two reason is "prescription overdose." 

The reason that people are on medications is because their organs are barely functioning.  For instance, most people’s livers are only operating at 30% because of living in toxic environments and eating toxic foods.

Sometimes the only way to open these organs back up is to engage in a detox program for your colon, liver and kidneys, which are the detoxification organs of the body.

Many people, especially those that take medications, are afraid of the herbs but sometimes these herbs will be the only thing that can get them off their medications.

You can take the herbs hours away from your medications and this should be fine.  However, if you are still afraid to take the herbs with your medications, then remember that many foods also can detoxify your organs so look them up on Google.com.

Just put in the words “Foods That Detoxifies the Liver” and “Foods That Detoxifies the Kidneys” then match these foods up with the foods that you can eat for your blood type in the blood type book “Eat Right 4 Your Type.”

Remember that everyone cannot eat the same foods.  We might have grown up eating the same foods but now the food in this country is different, especially because of GMOs, so everyone’s body will respond differently to certain foods.

You can find out the right type of detox herbs to buy from health and wholefood stores with my book “How To Take Control of Your Own Life: A Self-Help Guide To Becoming Healthier Over the Next 30 Days” at www.AngelsPress.com.

Can My 14 Year Old Daughter Do a Detox Program?

Dec. 22, 2015

Dear Cathy:

My daughter is 14 years old and is overweight for her age.  She refuses to eat healthy foods when I place them on the table.  Is she too young to do a detox program? Detoxing Daughter, Arizona

Dear Detoxing Daughter:

Many kids today looks just like adults so if your daughter, at age 14, has the same weight size as an adult, then yes she can engage in a detox program also.  Your health begins in your colon so most detoxes should start with a colon detox (colon cleanse).  

Since she is refusing to eat healthy foods, a detox program will help her get rid of some of the cravings.  She can also get rid of some of the cravings by taking these supplements – Omega 3 Fish Oil Supplements, Flaxseed Oil Supplements and Vitamin D3.  She especially needs a Multivitamin for women which will help with her PMS symptoms.

There are some good herbs that you can buy from a health food store which can get her started.  Keep in mind that the detox might cause her to be nauseated so you should do this when she is out of school for a couple of weeks and have time to lay around and rest.

You also need to make sure that she is active so introduce her to school sports and sports at local recreational centers. The goal is for her to get interested in some sport that will keep her active while she eats a natural and balanced diet.

You can find out the right type of detox herbs to buy from health and wholefood stores with my book “How To Take Control of Your Own Life: A Self-Help Guide To Becoming Healthier Over the Next 30 Days” or the e-article “How To Engage in a Complete Detoxification Program” at www.AngelsPress.com.

Dreading Christmas Party at Work

Dec. 21, 2015

Dear Cathy:

I am an administrative office worker at an insurance company.  I dread this time of year.  My boss want me as usual to plan the Xmas party but it always ends up as a fiasco.  

Last year two employees ended up being fired because they drank too much alcohol and said inappropriate remarks to the boss.  The year before that, an office worker broke his leg and was out of work for 3 months.

How can I keep from participating in these office events even though I work directly for the boss?  Dreading Xmas Party, Wisconsin

Dear Dreading Xmas Party:

We have all seen the Xmas office parties that gets out of hand during this time of year.  Since you work directly for the boss, he expects this to be part of your job description to plan these events.  However, you don’t have anything to do with how the employees act so you need to take this burden off yourself.

These individuals are grown-ups and if they drink alcohol and put their jobs on the line, then it’s their business.  Go ahead and keep planning these events but walk a thin line by letting your boss know how you feel.

Most companies will not cancel these events, especially since many employees look forward to these events every year along with their Christmas bonuses, so all you can do is put up with it and stay visible at these events.  

Workplace rumors are hard to overcome, especially when other employees don’t like you so again stay clear of trouble.

Government Contractor Wrongfully Terminated

Dec. 20, 2015

Dear Cathy:

I am an African American female and a contract worker for the federal government.  I was transferred into my new job from another state and have worked there for 5 years.  

I saw a job opening on another floor in my building where I still would have had the same manager so I asked him about the job opening.

Instead he tried to refer me to another job opening that I wasn’t interested in.  I just felt that particular job opening had more opportunities for me.

He had nothing but bad words to say about the supervisor over that particular job opening so when I personally asked her about the opening, my supervisor told me I was fired.

I wasn’t given a verbal or written warning before my termination.  I have a good work history and I don’t understand why I was fired simply for inquiring about another position.  What did I do wrong?  Confused in Charlotte

Dear Confused:

What you need to understand up front is that no job is secure nowadays, especially jobs in or with the federal government.  Working for the federal government as an employee or contractor is not a very nice place to land up in. 

The federal government has laws, rules and regulations for everything but no one, especially the managers or supervisors, reads them. 

No… they did not have the right to fire you without any verbal or written warning but they are betting that you won’t fight back or won’t know how to fight back – but you should.

It seems that the manager had some type of conflict with the supervisor and did not want to see her succeed so he wasn’t interested in helping her fill her job openings. 

The fact that you got caught up in it was not right so by all means you should fight your termination.  He probably felt betrayed when you went to the supervisor and inquired about the position, especially after he tried to get you to take the other position.

Black women in the federal government or black female contract workers are viewed as uppity, militant, loud-mouth and other derogatory names.

You need to understand up front that you did not do anything wrong!  You don’t need a reason to get fired from the federal government.  If you look at them sideways they will try to fire you.

It doesn’t matter if you have a good work history.  If you do anything to get on their nerves, the managers, especially lower and upper management white men (and white females) will terminate you.

The EEOC.gov process will be a long and tedious one.  You don’t need an attorney until you receive your “Right To Sue Letter,” meanwhile you have to eat so go ahead and file for unemployment at www.DOL.gov and try to get another job or start your own business. 

Many people only have 2 to 3 weeks of rainy day funds saved, so think logically about your next move and view your situation wholeheartedly, while making some conscious decisions such as moving in with family members – even in other cities. 

I truly believe that everything in your life happens for a reason.  This termination could be a blessing in disguise.  You are an excellent writer/author so you should think about writing a book or even starting your publishing company like I did at http://www.AngelsPress.com, which will be very therapeutic -- so start thinking about starting your own business today.   

If you are successful in landing another job, then have a back-up plan and start a business on the side.  You should read all my books on workplace discrimination -- “Workplace Survival Guide: How To Fight Discrimination, Whistleblowing and the Workers’ Compensation System” and the two-part book “Discrimination 101: How To Recognize and Survive Discrimination in the Workplace (Volume I and Volume 2) -- all e-books only.