Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Husband Refuses to Take A Lower Paying Job

Sep. 8, 2015

Dear Cathy:

My husband got fired from his job that paid a nice salary. He had issues with a co-worker and eventually ending up filing a lawsuit. He went through depression after his termination and spent most of our money on legal fees. He has been out of work for 1 year and nothing really resulted in his case.

Despite making a nice salary for a few years, he had very little put away for a rainy day. His cousins said they could get him a job at McDonalds or Walmart but he refuses to go that route. I was a homemaker taking care of our three kids, but after losing our home, I had to take a job to try to support the family. I am at my wits end dealing with him. Are there any other options? Frustrated With Husband, California

Dear Frustrated With Husband:

Many people in nice paying jobs think they have arrived but curve balls can happen anytime in anyone's life. Life is not etched in stone so everyone need to be there to lift themselves back up and keep moving forward in their lives -- but that is easily said than done.

No matter what type of job your husband had, most men would not want to go and work at McDonalds or Walmart because they will feel this is beneath them -- even when they recognize that their family is suffering from lack of financial support. Many men have even walked away from relationships because of the pressure to do this.

However, for now the needs of the family comes first. First the entire family need to downsize everything and even think about moving in with a relative until he can get back on his feet.  

He should have applied for unemployment benefits that would have lasted anywhere from 20 to 26 weeks -- which would have helped the family out financially -- but he might have missed his deadline, if he did not file right away with the DOL.gov.

Most of the times it takes more than a year to gain justice on any type of lawsuit and especially to recover from any type of depression, so addressing his health issues also needs to be a priority. 

Right now your family needs a sense of normalcy, and that can happen because you are working – and you have an income coming in. Sometimes going back in order to move forward is the only way to find your way back from the brink of despair and hopelessness. 

This will give both of you time to think about how you want to restructure your lives. Be patient with him -- because what happened to him could have easily happened to you and you need to ask yourself -- if he would have stuck around for you – so be patient and be there for him.

You can learn everything about how workplaces work by reading my 3 books on workplace abuse/discrimination - Workplace Survival Guide: How To Fight Discrimination, Whistleblowing and the Workers’ Compensation System and Discrimination 101: The Complete Guide to Recognizing and Surviving Discrimination in the Workplace (Volume 1 & Volume 2).  

Also check out my “Workplace Blog” at http://cathyharris-workplace.blogspot.com.

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