How Can I Put Myself Around Potential Mates?

April 25, 2017

Dear Cathy:

I am an African American female in early 30s. I live in a rural area in Arizona. I have a good job so I don't want to transfer to another area. In my area black men don’t date black women. They date only women of other races. What should I do to try to start a relationship with a black man? Relationship, Arizona

Dear Relationship:

Like everything else a good relationship won’t come easy, which means you have to work for it. You might need to broaden your horizons. So if the men in your area isn’t interested in dating black women, then make yourself available in other areas.

Start carpools or use megabuses to travel with others to other areas and cities to put yourself around other available men, especially cities and states bordering your city and state.

You can also travel and attend meetup.com groups, conferences and other events in other areas. If you’re traveling, try to interact more with locals or try traveling solo and give yourself a chance to delve into the local culture.

I doubt if there is a single day without some type of festival going on. Make your plans around well-known festivals or yearly events. Whether it’s food, music, history, art or something else entirely, find area festivals and go to them. The idea is to simply expose yourself to something new.

Also join online dating sites and apps and make yourself available to others. Dating today is different but if you truly want to find Mr. Right, he is out there but he is not just going to knock on your door.

You can also ask family and friends to fix you up on potential blind dates. Stepping out of your comfort zone is part of what it means to be well-rounded. Let your friends help you. Ask if you can try out some of their interests with them. You get to do it with your friends while experiencing something new.

Grab your friends and plan a restaurant tour. Skip all your usual haunts and try something new at least once a week. If possible, take a week’s vacation and plan to eat somewhere new every day. The new flavors will make you appreciate a wide variety of cuisines from all over the world and will help you meet others.

Also take a museum road trip and visit museums or historic landmarks. Odds are, you have quite a few of both within just a few hours of your home. Meanwhile live your life and do the things that you truly care about and love to do and have fun making yourself available.