Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Is It Safe To Mix Medications and Detox Herbs?

Dec. 23, 2015

Dear Cathy:

I really would like to engage in a detox program, however, I am on 5 medications so I am afraid to mix the herbs for the detox with my medications so how should I handle this? Medication Mixing, North Carolina

Dear Medication Mixing:

The number one reason that many people die in this country is from "organ failure."  The number two reason is "prescription overdose." 

The reason that people are on medications is because their organs are barely functioning.  For instance, most people’s livers are only operating at 30% because of living in toxic environments and eating toxic foods.

Sometimes the only way to open these organs back up is to engage in a detox program for your colon, liver and kidneys, which are the detoxification organs of the body.

Many people, especially those that take medications, are afraid of the herbs but sometimes these herbs will be the only thing that can get them off their medications.

You can take the herbs hours away from your medications and this should be fine.  However, if you are still afraid to take the herbs with your medications, then remember that many foods also can detoxify your organs so look them up on

Just put in the words “Foods That Detoxifies the Liver” and “Foods That Detoxifies the Kidneys” then match these foods up with the foods that you can eat for your blood type in the blood type book “Eat Right 4 Your Type.”

Remember that everyone cannot eat the same foods.  We might have grown up eating the same foods but now the food in this country is different, especially because of GMOs, so everyone’s body will respond differently to certain foods.

You can find out the right type of detox herbs to buy from health and wholefood stores with my book “How To Take Control of Your Own Life: A Self-Help Guide To Becoming Healthier Over the Next 30 Days” at

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Can My 14 Year Old Daughter Do a Detox Program?

Dec. 22, 2015

Dear Cathy:

My daughter is 14 years old and is overweight for her age.  She refuses to eat healthy foods when I place them on the table.  Is she too young to do a detox program? Detoxing Daughter, Arizona

Dear Detoxing Daughter:

Many kids today looks just like adults so if your daughter, at age 14, has the same weight size as an adult, then yes she can engage in a detox program also.  
Your health begins in your colon so most detoxes should start with a colon detox (colon cleanse).  

Since she is refusing to eat healthy foods, a detox program will help her get rid of some of the cravings.  She can also get rid of some of the cravings by taking these supplements – Omega 3 Fish Oil Supplements, Flaxseed Oil Supplements and Vitamin D3.  She especially needs a Multivitamin for women which will help with her PMS symptoms.

There are some good herbs that you can buy from a health food store which can get her started.  Keep in mind that the detox might cause her to be nauseated so you should do this when she is out of school for a couple of weeks and have time to lay around and rest.

You also need to make sure that she is active so introduce her to school sports and sports at local recreational centers. The goal is for her to get interested in some sport that will keep her active while she eats a natural and balanced diet.

You can find out the right type of detox herbs to buy from health and wholefood stores with my book “How To Take Control of Your Own Life: A Self-Help Guide To Becoming Healthier Over the Next 30 Days” or the e-article “How To Engage in a Complete Detoxification Program” at

Monday, December 21, 2015

Dreading Christmas Party at Work

Dec. 21, 2015

Dear Cathy:

I am an administrative office worker at an insurance company.  I dread this time of year.  My boss want me as usual to plan the Xmas party but it always ends up as a fiasco.  

Last year two employees ended up being fired because they drank too much alcohol and said inappropriate remarks to the boss.  The year before that, an office worker broke his leg and was out of work for 3 months.

How can I keep from participating in these office events even though I work directly for the boss?  Dreading Xmas Party, Wisconsin

Dear Dreading Xmas Party:

We have all seen the Xmas office parties that gets out of hand during this time of year.  Since you work directly for the boss, he expects this to be part of your job description to plan these events.  However, you don’t have anything to do with how the employees act so you need to take this burden off yourself.

These individuals are grown-ups and if they drink alcohol and put their jobs on the line, then it’s their business.  Go ahead and keep planning these events but walk a thin line by letting your boss know how you feel.

Most companies will not cancel these events, especially since many employees look forward to these events every year along with their Christmas bonuses, so all you can do is put up with it and stay visible at these events.  

Workplace rumors are hard to overcome, especially when other employees don’t like you so again stay clear of trouble.

Sunday, December 20, 2015

Government Contractor Wrongfully Terminated

Dec. 20, 2015

Dear Cathy:

I am an African American female and a contract worker for the federal government.  I was transferred into my new job from another state and have worked there for 5 years.  

I saw a job opening on another floor in my building where I still would have had the same manager so I asked him about the job opening.

Instead he tried to refer me to another job opening that I wasn’t interested in.  I just felt that particular job opening had more opportunities for me.

He had nothing but bad words to say about the supervisor over that particular job opening so when I personally asked her about the opening, my supervisor told me I was fired.

I wasn’t given a verbal or written warning before my termination.  I have a good work history and I don’t understand why I was fired simply for inquiring about another position.  What did I do wrong?  Confused in Charlotte

Dear Confused:

What you need to understand up front is that no job is secure nowadays, especially jobs in or with the federal government.  Working for the federal government as an employee or contractor is not a very nice place to land up in. 

The federal government has laws, rules and regulations for everything but no one, especially the managers or supervisors, reads them. 

No… they did not have the right to fire you without any verbal or written warning but they are betting that you won’t fight back or won’t know how to fight back – but you should.

It seems that the manager had some type of conflict with the supervisor and did not want to see her succeed so he wasn’t interested in helping her fill her job openings. 

The fact that you got caught up in it was not right so by all means you should fight your termination.  He probably felt betrayed when you went to the supervisor and inquired about the position, especially after he tried to get you to take the other position.

Black women in the federal government or black female contract workers are viewed as uppity, militant, loud-mouth and other derogatory names.

You need to understand up front that you did not do anything wrong!  You don’t need a reason to get fired from the federal government.  If you look at them sideways they will try to fire you.

It doesn’t matter if you have a good work history.  If you do anything to get on their nerves, the managers, especially lower and upper management white men (and white females) will terminate you.

The process will be a long and tedious one.  You don’t need an attorney until you receive your “Right To Sue Letter,” meanwhile you have to eat so go ahead and file for unemployment at and try to get another job or start your own business. 

Many people only have 2 to 3 weeks of rainy day funds saved, so think logically about your next move and view your situation wholeheartedly, while making some conscious decisions such as moving in with family members – even in other cities. 

I truly believe that everything in your life happens for a reason.  This termination could be a blessing in disguise.  You are an excellent writer/author so you should think about writing a book or even starting your publishing company like I did at, which will be very therapeutic -- so start thinking about starting your own business today.   

If you are successful in landing another job, then have a back-up plan and start a business on the side.  You should read all my books on workplace discrimination -- “Workplace Survival Guide: How To Fight Discrimination, Whistleblowing and the Workers’ Compensation System” and the two-part book “Discrimination 101: How To Recognize and Survive Discrimination in the Workplace (Volume I and Volume 2) -- all e-books only. 

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Getting Breast Implants to Boost My Self-Esteem

Dec. 16, 2015

Dear Cathy:

I have always had a flat chest and I absolutely don’t like it. I also have a lack of self-esteem and confidence so I am thinking about getting breast implants.  I know it will boost my self-esteem and confidence but my boyfriend does not want me to do it.  What do you think?  Getting Breast Implants, California

Dear Getting Breast Implants:

Basically you need to do what is best for you but I would definitely conduct research before going under the knife.

Sometimes there are issues when you are put to sleep during any type of surgery and many times doctors leave scissors, sponges and other equipment in patients when they operate.

Also many breast implants can be toxic and end up leaking through the skin -- maybe not right away - but down the line -- so make sure you conduct extensive research before going under the knife.

There are many ways to boost your self-esteem and confidence that don’t involve surgery.  Basically you need to conduct research on your brain and how it works to send positive signals throughout your body.

You also need to eat good foods, especially brain foods, because your foods affects every area of your life from your mood, happiness and your entire quality of life.

If your boyfriend doesn't want you to do this because you will attract others or many others, including his family, might think you are fake, then that too is something to think about.

However, remember in the end you need to do what is best for you and not let others decide for you.  You need to do what you can to boost your self-esteem and confidence but many times the answer is not getting breast implants.

Monday, December 14, 2015

Helping a Loved One Move Toward The Light

Dec. 14, 2015

Dear Cathy:

My husband is 60 years old and has an extensive list of health issues, both mental and physical. Last week, we were given the news that he may have pancreatic cancer. He watched his brother die from the same disease, so we know that if he is diagnosed, he may not survive long.

After we got the news, I started thinking about what may happen to me after he dies. I thought about getting him more life insurance, selling the house, what to do with his belongings – even where I would bury him.

Am I a terrible person? I feel guilty for doing it and would appreciate your opinion. Worried in Washington, DC

Dear Worried:

Just remember it ain’t over until it’s over. No you are not a bad person for simply planning ahead, especially about burial arrangements. Despite the grim diagnosis that your husband was given, his brother’s fate does not have to be his fate. People on their death bed bounce back all the time and go on to led normal lives again -- so never give up hope.

However, if you did not plan ahead, if he did expire, it would probably leave your household unprepared to deal with the situation -- so planning ahead on any matter, especially a matter as grave as this is simply a smart idea.

Once he is given a diagnosis of a terminal disease, which could include coronary artery disease, cancer, failure to thrive, stroke, etc. -- when all else has failed and it’s time to let go of a loved one, make sure you are informed on what steps you need to take.

Hospice care can be in an institution or home care. Keep in mind if the patient is still in the hospital and in frail shape, a hospital representative will try to get the family to sign papers so that their family members can be taken to the hospice ward at the hospital, where they will be administered morphine, made comfortable until they transition.

The only other option is to take that person home for hospice care or to an institution. Many families might elect to take them home so they can be surrounded by family as they transition. That transition time might be anywhere from two weeks to several months.

To learn more about helping a family member move toward the light read “Golden Years: How To Age Gracefully and Take Care of Seniors – available as an e-book and paperback at

Friday, December 11, 2015

Boyfriend Won't Destroy Sex Tape

Dec. 11, 2015

Dear Cathy:

My boyfriend and I are both in our 40s and are in pretty good shape.  We like to explore each other so one night we got really wild and made a sex tape.  He got mad when I found out that he did not destroy it like I had asked.  Should I be worried?  Sex Tape, Texas

Dear Sex Tape:

Yes you should be worried because if that sex tape gets out there then it will not only embarrass you and your boyfriend, what about your kids and other family members? 

If your boyfriend want to keep the sex tape as some type of souvenir – then that is too dangerous.  What if you and he break up?  He can hold that over your head!  

If he is so in love with the sex tape then there is a chance that something deeper is going on.  Is he addicted to porn on the computer or some type of other gadget?  

Some men get addicted to porn and it takes over their lives.  So look for his desire to hang onto the sex tape as some type of deeper issue in your relationship.

Monday, December 7, 2015

Longtime Friendship Drifting Apart

Dec. 7, 2015

Dear Cathy:

I met a friend over 20 years ago when we both started working at this job together.  After about 5 years I transferred to another city but my friend and I kept in touch over the years and made it a point to get together over the years and talked at least once a month by phone for hours.

My friend spent a lot of time on the phone bashing or talking negative about men.  We were both single for a long time but now that I found a mate, my friend no longer wants anything to do with me so should I even care?
Standoffish Friend, Alabama

Dear Standoffish Friend:

No you should not care -- friends are a dime a dozen and you probably have not met some of the people who will be your best friends in this life so it's time to move on.

Many friends lose touch over the years and many just go their own way or drift apart. The fact that you were friends for that long is astounding.

The fact that you are in a meaningful relationship now after so many years, have probably caused your friend to be a little jealous also, especially if she spent many of her years talking negative about men.

She probably feels a little betrayed by you because you have found a meaningful relationship and she has not. You and your friend are just in different places in your life now so of course it will cause anyone to drift apart.

Count your blessings that you had a good friend like her all those years but everyone has to eventually move on.

Friday, December 4, 2015

Negative Husband – Negative Marriage – When Is It Time to Move On?

Dec. 4, 2015

Dear Cathy:

I have been married for 10 years.  My husband is always negative.  He has no friends of his own and he constantly sits around the house and complain, complain, complain.  We don't have any kids and I don't work, but I am still thinking about leaving him, but my finances tell me I can’t go anywhere.  What do you suggest?  Need To Leave Marriage, Florida

Dear Need To Leave Marriage:

Many people are just negative - the naysayers, the doom and gloom people - and no matter what you do, they will not change.  Many men need to understand the phrase "Happy Wife, Happy Life."  In other words, if men don't keep their wives happy, then they are in for a rude awakening.

Many women have said the same thing about their marriage and many of them stay and some leave.  Many women stay because they are afraid to live alone or they don’t see anything better on the horizon but why waste the most valuable years of your life on someone who could give two cents? 

It all depends on if you want to explore other options. Reach out to family members to see if you can move in while you become financially secure with your own job or business.  That option has got to be better than what you are putting up with at this time.

Do whatever you have to to make it work but if you are at the end of your rope, then it’s definitely time to move on. Make a list of the pros and cons of your marriage, tally them up and weigh the cons against how you feel living the life you are living now.

A licensed counselor may be able to steer you in the right direction, which could include working with a marriage counselor to hang onto the marriage or consulting a lawyer and getting a divorce.

There is probably a man out there that will love you and would love to make you happy but you will never know this if you continue to stay in a loveless, negative marriage.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

How Can I Cut Down On Spending Too Much Money When I Shop?

Dec. 3, 2015

Dear Cathy:

I know that I buy too much when I shop for clothes and accessories.  Can you think of any ways that I can cut back when I go shopping?  Spend Too Much Money, TX

Dear Spend Too Much Money:

Put yourself on a budget and stay on it.  You know how much you should spend when you go shopping so don't be tempted by what you see.

Don’t go to the mall or other stores when you’re in a lousy mood.  A study has found that people who were feeling depressed when they shop, were willing to spend 30% more than consumers who were in a better frame of mind.  So make sure when you shop you – SHOP HAPPY!!!!

Stay away from stores unless you are there for a reason. Always use a list when you go shopping and take a calculator with you.  

Before buying anything ask yourself if it is a “need” or “want.” A need is a necessity (food, clothing, shelter, etc.) but a want is a desire and you don’t have to fill desires.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Renting A Room to A Friend

Dec. 2, 2015

Dear Cathy:

I live in a nice size comfortable home alone.  One of my best girlfriends, who was recently divorced and don't have any children, is looking for a place to stay.  She asked if I could rent her a room.  What do I need to know up front?  Allowing Friend to Move In, Washington, DC

Dear Allowing Friend to Move In:

Getting a roommate is a great way to make extra money but you don't want it to become a nightmare at the same time, so there are several things you need to put into place first.

The first step you should take is to “get legal” by writing up a formal lease, just as if that person were renting an apartment.  You can find one online. 

Hopefully it doesn’t come to the point where you will actually have to pull out the lease and remind your roommate about agreements. 

You might be living with a friend but you never know how someone is going to act until you actually live with them, so be ready to handle any situation that arises.

Consider asking for a deposit in case of any damage or repairs to her room. Then you need to set some ground rules.  Have a meeting with your new roommate and discuss keeping common areas clean.  If you have ever seen the “Odd Couple,” then you know that a slob and clean freak don’t match. 

Discuss rules for visitors and let her know what are the reasonable hours for entertainment.  Talk about your tolerances to loud noises and music.  Also discuss overnight guests and how long they can stay.

Discuss other things such as taking out the trash, personal space, borrowing things, if pets are allowed, tardy rent payments and other important issues to you. 

The goal is not to let living together tarnish your friendship, so it’s important to set some ground rules.

Monday, November 30, 2015

Mate Won’t Give Up Closet Space

Nov. 30, 2015

Dear Cathy:

I recently moved in a home with a man that I truly love and have dated for 10 years. We are both retired so we finally decided to move in together, however, he refused to move most of his items out of his closet to give me room. 

He has lived alone for a while and like doing things his way.  He said since I had so many things I needed to put my things in the extra bedroom so that I would have the closet space that I needed.  Did I make a mistake by moving in with him?  Move-In Mistake, Florida

Dear Move-In Mistake:

No not really, however, not compromising in the bedroom might lead to problems down the road so most men need to understand that. 

A woman want to feel like she belongs in a home, especially when you invite her to move in with you and if she does not have the run of the house, especially the bedroom, it might cause problems. 

On the other hand, placing all your items in the other closet and bedroom will give you the ‘she-cave’ that you probably need when you just want to relax. 

Many men have space issues so it’s always a good idea to have your own area in your home where you can go and relax when you want to be alone.

Remember that as men (women too) ages, they will become too set in their ways so it will be hard for him to give up his space for you or make other changes in other areas of his life.

I would not make a big deal out of the living arrangements.  See how he treats you – that’s the most important thing.  If he goes out of his way in other areas to make you feel welcome, then again I would not make a big deal out of it. 

You both are under the same roof, which should give both of you more cozier times with each other.

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Can True Love Maintain Two Households?

Nov. 29, 2015

Dear Cathy:

I am retired and so is my boyfriend. I have known him for 18 years. He is a neat freak and I am not. He asked me to move in with him, however, because of his habits, I rather move to his city and maintain my own place instead. Do you think this is a good idea? Two Households, Missouri

Dear Two Households:

Many people love each other but they can’t stay under the same roof, especially as they age. Many of these types or relationships have went on for years.

So therefore it would be a good idea to move to your new city and maintain your own place. Absence truly does make the heart grow fonder so this type of relationship can be great for the both of you.

Couples need space, especially men, and it might even make you have a stronger relationship, while it prepares you to move in together down the line.

If your boyfriend want you to be in his life, then he will change some of his habits in order to have you there.

If he doesn’t then maybe the both of you, should think about going your own way. But his actions will be key to even growing or ending the relationship.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Falling Out of Love With Mate

Nov. 24, 2015

Dear Cathy:

I am retired and I have known my mate for 15 years, who is also retired, so when he asked me to move in with him -- I did.  I left my family and friends and drove cross-country to be with this man but after 2 years I am ready to call it quits.

At one time I thought I could live the rest of my life with this man but I no longer love him.  His habits have really gotten on my last nerve so I am thinking about leaving.  However, he is financially secure and doesn’t make me pay any of the bills so I am torn between leaving or staying.  Falling Out of Love, California

Dear Falling Out of Love:

Moving and changing your life is never easy and a lot of people don’t like change.  That’s why they will continue in a relationship that is obviously not going anywhere because again -- they don’t like change.

Money isn’t everything.   It’s doesn’t define who you are as an individual and just because your mate is financially secure, doesn’t mean you should hang on to him. 

Life is meant to be lived fully and if you are in a relationship with someone and you are not totally happy, then maybe it’s time to move on. 

If you can’t sit down and have a civil conversation with your mate about his habits, which you can’t no longer take, then again, maybe it’s time to move on.

We all think life is suppose to go one way but it ends up going another so you have to be ready to make decisions and choices in your life that will bring you total happiness. 

You are only responsible for yourself, not anyone else, so if you no longer love your mate, then you need to start making plans to leave.

You’ll never know when you will meet Mr. Right but it certainly won’t happen wasting your most valuable years staying in a stale relationship -- which is like beating a dead horse.

Monday, November 23, 2015

Husband Can’t Say He Loves Me

Nov. 23, 2015

Dear Cathy:

I have been married for two years and my husband and I have a pretty good relationship but the one thing I find difficult is that he won’t tell me he loves me.  He says he has a hard time saying it and it is just words, and that I should know he loves me without him needing to verbalize it.

While I do know he loves me, I still feel the need to hear it, and it hurts that he can’t say it, even when it means so much to me.  Am I making a big deal out of nothing or do I have the right to want my husband say that he loves me? Need to Hear It, Arizona

Dear Need To Hear It:

The situation you mention is unfortunately all too common.  It is true that certain people have a hard time communicating in general, and this is especially so when it comes to stating words of love. However, many women, especially need to hear the words.

It is a great start that you know your husband loves you, but as you state, it is a different thing altogether to be told it and to hear the words spoken.

Some men will show you instead of saying the words.  Clearly it is better to be shown love and witness acts of love rather than being told words of love that are empty.  But that still does not take away the need or desire to hear the words.

The concept of needing to hear words of love is a legitimate and real need.  And one that needs to be met -- if at all possible.  It is considered more difficult for a man to state words of love than it is for a woman.

This doesn’t mean that all men have difficulty verbalizing their feelings and for all women it is easy.  The lack of verbal reassurance of his love is something that the two of you should discuss, as he needs to be aware of how difficult it is for you when he won’t say “I love you.”

On the other hand, you should be sensitive to the fact that it is difficult for him to verbally express himself.  It is unfair to deny him words of love simply because he may not think to say them on his own.  Hopefully by you saying them to him, it will remind and encourage him to share such words in return.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

In Love With Employee

Nov. 12, 2015

Dear Cathy:

I work for a small company with 50 employees.  I met an amazing man but the only problem is we work together and I am his boss.  I don’t want to cross the line.  I know he is attracted to me because he flirts with me.  What can I do to carry on a relationship with him and remain his boss?  In Love With Employee, Minnesota

Dear In Love With Employee:

The only thing you can professionally do to carry on a relationship with this man is to quit your job or have him quit his.  If one of you move to another department and he is not working directly under you, that might work also.

Carrying on with someone who is an employee and you are the boss, is opening yourself up to all types of liabilities and not to mention heartbreaks and even headaches down the line.  

The goal on any job is to be a professional and when you accepted that management seat on your job, it meant you more than the employees need to follow and administer the rules.  That is just how workplaces are set up.

Even carrying on an affair in secret, won’t work because if you two breakup or have some type of disagreement, then it might affect your work environment, so again move to another department or take another job or have him move to another department or take another job.

Many men flirt with women so make sure there is someone there before you investigate other options.  Relationships are hard so make sure you both are on the same page.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

My Daughter is a Habitual Waiter

Nov. 10, 2015

Dear Cathy:

What does it means when someone tells you – you are a habitual waiter? My daughter, who is 40 years old, told me all her friends call her that? Habitual Waiters, Sacremento, CA

Dear Habitual Waiters:

The world is full of them. These are people who are always waiting on something to happen in their lives. Many people wait to get married to buy a house, or wait until they get married to travel, instead of doing this when they are single.

Many people wait to find the perfect job, or wait until their kids finish school or wait to retire. They are constantly in that waiting mode.
They are always waiting on something instead of getting out there and making something happen in their lives. And again the world is full of them.

Many people wait for someone else’s permission, or someone else’s input into something. And when you are waiting on someone else -- the majority of the time, you lose drive and momentum, you lose enthusiasm, and eventually you forget why you wanted to do something in the first place.

Waiting around could also be considered procrastination. Procrastination is putting off or delaying something requiring immediate attention. Most people don’t really want to be around people who are always waiting and especially people who are constantly procrastinating.

Monday, November 9, 2015

My Sister is Having Unnecessary Breast Reduction Surgery

Nov. 9, 2015

Dear Cathy:

We are an African American family.  All 5 of my sisters are well-endowed but my youngest sister wants to have breast reduction surgery.  I have tried to talk her out of it but her mind seems to be made up.  She is overweight for her height so if she lost some of the weight, she might be fine with her breast.  Breast Reduction, California

Dear Breast Reduction:

California is actually one of the healthiest states out there.  In that state, many women are obsessed with what they eat.  Many women have body image issues, which can lower their self-esteem.  However, I agree with you that your sister should rethink and avoid any type of unnecessary surgery.

Anytime you have any type of surgery, there can be complications.  This is a surgery where she will be put to sleep and there is a reason why Anesthesiologists have to take out a lot of insurance in their jobs. 

It’s because many times when people are put to sleep because of surgeries, they don’t wake up.  And instruments such as sponges and scissors are left in over 50 people every week in the U.S., which can cause serious issues such as infections or even death. 

Everyone need to rethink having any unnecessary surgery.  The goal is to avoid ending up in any type of hospital, because once you are committed, anything can happen to you.

After breast reduction surgery, many times women will lose weight, then many will regret having had the breast reduction surgery in the first place.

Instead of surgery, tell your sister to investigate these ideas first.  Get fitted for a bra and engage in a regular exercise program while choosing to eat a good diet, especially foods for her blood type.

Instead of the surgery I would suggest that your sister get fitted for a bra.  Many African American women are still trying to wear $10.00 bras from Wal-mart and they will not cut it.  You can’t buy a cheap bra, especially if you are already overweight.  

Many department stores, such as Macy's, will measure women for bras and even have a selection of bras, including sports bras.  You need to pay at least $70 to $100 or $150 for a good fitting bra.  Not only will a good fitting bra make you look better in your clothes and boost your self-esteem, but it will make you look like you have lost weight.  

Even engaging in a good workout program, where she can strengthen the muscles around her breast, would probably make her happier than she is now.  So again, I would not engage in any unnecessary dangerous surgery, which she might regret later on. 

If she decides to go ahead with the surgery, it's important to eat right and be in good shape so she will recover sooner.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Three Kids With Brain Issues

Nov. 5, 2015

Dear Cathy:

I am a young single mother with 3 boys under the age of 10.  All my kids have brain issues.  Two have autism and the other one have seizures.  Are brain issues something that mostly affects male children?  Learning More About the Brain, Missouri

Dear Learning More About the Brain:

My heart goes out to any mother with a sick child.  Make sure you work with them starting at a very early age and make sure they are eating a nutrient-dense diet.  Yes autism is a disease that affects mostly male children. 

According to holistic and natural experts, within the next 20 years every other male child will be born with autism, unless we are able to educate the masses in this country.

The reason that many kids are coming down with brain issues is that many expectant/pregnant mothers are refusing to eat organic foods so they are passing on diseases to their children. 

Most of the foods today, at least 90 percent of all processed foods in grocery stores, contains Genetically Modified Organism (GMO) components or derivatives, which means the foods have no nutritional value.

The foods also contains pesticides, which is a heavy metal, a neurotoxin, which causes the brain and nervous system to give out and this is why there is currently an explosion of brain issues such as autism, brain seizures, mental health issues, babies born with smaller brains, brain cancer, bipolar disorder, brain fog, MS, Alzheimers, Parkinsons, etc. especially in children because of their weak and undeveloped immune systems. 

Over 60% of people in nursing homes today are in their late 40s and early 50s and many are there because of Alzheimers.  Many people in their 40s today are dying of Alzheimers, which is now also being called “Type 3 Diabetes.” 

The high rate of autism has also increased because in many states like California, where kids are being forced to take flu and other vaccinations, which contains a large number of heavy metals.

You also want to clean up your inside environment because toxic body products and toxic cleaning products contains heavy metals and can cause your blood to become toxic and make it a breeding ground for illnesses and diseases, especially brain issues. 

Read "How To Take Control of Your Own Life: A Self-Help Guide To Becoming Healthier Over the Next 30 Days" -- available as an e-book and paperback at

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

My Daughter Has an Old Soul

Nov. 4, 2015

Dear Cathy:

What does it mean when someone tells you that your child has an old soul? Is this a negative thing? Old Soul, Alabama

Dear Old Soul:

If you can talk to your child like he/she’s an adult, you’ve probably got an old soul on your hands and again it’s not a negative thing.

I have a daughter who has an old soul. I have watched this kid, who is now 32, my entire life. She is only 1 year younger than her sister -- but their personalities is like night and day.

She is an introvert, which sometimes can mean that they are shy and withdrawn. Her sister is an extrovert, which means she is outgoing and needed people around her to fulfill herself in this life.

But my old soul daughter could care less about people being around her. Most old souls tend to be preoccupied with their own thoughts and feelings and minimize their contact with other people.

Most old souls are spiritually inclined and tend to have sensitive and spiritual natures. Love and peace are their main pursuits and they seem to think a lot about everything.

Children with old souls finds their outlook on life vastly different and more matured than those around him. As a result, the old soul lives their life internally, walking their own solitary path, while the rest around them flock to follow another.

They rather talk with teachers or other adults versus people their own age. Old souls inherently understand that knowledge is power, wisdom is happiness and truth is freedom. These pursuits are more meaningful to them than reading up on the latest gossip.

Rarely do old souls get lost in the superficial details of useless materialistic things. Wealth, status, fame, and the latest version of iPhone, bore old souls.

The old soul doesn't see the purpose of pursuing things that can be easily taken away from them. Additionally, old souls have little time and interest for the short-lived things in life, as they bring little meaning or long lasting fulfillment for them.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

I Fell in Love With My Friend's Ex-Husband

Nov. 3, 2015 

Dear Cathy:

I have been friends with my friend for over 7 years.  She got a divorce and is now married to a wonderful guy and has 2 kids with her new husband.  I am secretly dating her ex-husband who was married to her for 5 years.  I wasn’t attracted to him when they were together but now I really love this man.  How do I tell my friend that I am in love with her ex-husband?  Ex-husband Jitters, Maryland

Dear Ex-Husband Jitters:

Falling in love with a friend’s ex-husband is a very complicated situation.  No one would actually choose to fall in love with a friend’s ex-husband but since it has happened to you, then you need to deal with it.

One woman’s loss is another woman’s gain and despite what you think, she might be happy for you.  However, you might be left with the choice of choosing to stay friends or giving up your new mate – so you need to ask yourself, how much do her friendship really means to you?

True love is a rarity and it only comes around once for many people in this life, so I would think about your decision wisely.  Meet with your friend or send her a written letter and explain to her what has happened. 

Let her know during the time of her 5 year marriage, nothing out of the ordinary or no attractions took place.  She is now married with children and is probably happy so again, she might just be happy for you, especially if they remained friends after the split.

If that doesn't work, then you might have to move to another part of the city or stop hanging out in places where you know your friend might be.  But you also need to understand that true friends don't stand in the way of another friend's happiness.  

Monday, November 2, 2015

Friends Hurting My Relationships

Nov. 2, 2015

I am 45 years old and divorced and my best girlfriends are also around the same age and also divorced.  Everytime I meet a nice guy, they are always putting their two cents in and my new relationships don’t even get off the ground.  Is it time for me to rethink my friends?  Rethinking Friends, Missouri

Dear Rethinking Friends:

As the years pass, you will lose common interests that brought you and others together as friends in the first place so yes chances are it might be time to rethink your friends. 

Women who are single and don’t have anyone in their lives can become toxic friends blocking any type of potential relationship that you can have in your life.  

Jealousy is an ugly emotion.  It involves negative thoughts and damaging feelings of insecurity, anxiety, fear, resentment.  It occurs when a person anticipates a loss of something of great personal value.  In the case of your current relationship, you are the thing of great personal value.  

Women can be jealous of relationships so you need to be careful who is in your corner.  Chances are you are going to make mistakes in your relationships down the line but when you meet someone special, then eventually he needs to come before any friendship.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Mom Needs To Act and Dress Age Appropriate

Oct. 29, 2015

Dear Cathy:

My mom just turned 65 years old and is retired.  My father passed away 10 years ago so she doesn’t act or dresses her age at all.  She dresses more like a younger person and dates younger men.  When is it time to become age appropriate and tone down your look?  Need to Be Age Appropriate, Washington

Dear Need To Be Age Appropriate:

What is age appropriate anyway?  The things that your mother do or wear is probably what makes her unique so why try to change it?  She is retired so she is not in anyones’ workplace looking like she does.  No one really want to be a carbon copy of other people so let her live her own life.

According to many women, at age 59 you should ditch high heels, red lipstick, tight clothes and false nails and seek to look more natural but many people are saying in your 40s it’s time to tone down.

Every woman has had her own moments of confronting age in fashion and beauty trends.  Many women say they feel beautiful at any age and are happy to let nature take its course without resorting to extreme anti-aging measures.  

Many feel they look younger than they really are and would never consider any type of cosmetic surgery, so again let your mother live her own life.  If she is out there staying mobile, then that's the important thing because by age 65, many Seniors have resorted to living sedentary lifestyles -- so kudos to your mom for being unique.