Jan. 11, 2015
Dear Cathy:
My marriage has ended after 12 years but we agreed to continue to still live together because of finances. My ex-husband has agreed to allow me to keep the home once he moves out since the children, 10 and 11, will continue to stay with me. So how do we carry on with separate lives living under the same roof? Needing help in California.
Dear Needing Help:
Because of the economy many couples have found themselves in this situation. Couples like everyone else is waiting for the economy to get better but continuing to live together when the love is obviously gone is not a very good decision especially now that you are divorced.
One out of every two marriages ends today because of finances so the both of you need to come up with solutions on how to build separate lives. As long as he is staying there under the same roof as you, neither of you will be able to move on and build a loving relationship with another person so you both need to think about that.
You need to sit down and truly look at your finances. The only option I see is to bring in more money. Some immediate solutions would be for both or either of you to get a part-time job along with your regular salary, start a business, or allow the kids to start a business.
Other options include downsizing the home so the both of you can move some place else such as into a smaller home, an apartment or even move in with relatives. Right now both of you need to get a ‘peace of mind’ and there is no way to have that if you are still living together -- so for the sake of the children try to work out a sensible solution and move on with your lives.
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