Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Grandfather Won’t Acknowledge Grandchildren

May 17, 2016

Dear Cathy:

I moved to the city where my mate lives and moved in with him 2 years ago. We are both retired. He has yet to introduce me to any of his family, even though they only live one hour away.

He has 5 children and 10 grandchildren. I have 3 kids but no grandkids yet of my own. Even though my mate text his children and they text him back, as far as I can tell, he is not actively involved in the rearing of his grandchildren and probably don’t even know their names.

I am old fashioned and enjoy being around family. So I find this really odd and uncomfortable because I enjoy my entire family and want them to be a part of my life. Is it strange for a grandfather to not to actively want to be involved with his grandchildren? Missing Family Time, Michigan

Dear Missing Family Time:

Women are nurturers and men are not, so their attitudes toward their families will probably be different. Just remember that n
o two families are alike. 

If your mate was married before or with his children’s mother, then it would probably be uncomfortable for him to take you around them. Many couples just don’t want to make others feel uncomfortable, especially their children, even though they are all adults now.

If he is talking to his children by text, then he is obviously in touch with them and is ready to help if there is any type of issue or problem. The fact that he has never introduced them to you don’t really seem strange at all. 

Unless you are with him all the time, you don't know that he is not actively involved with his children or grandchildren because many men don't share everything. 

Also don't forget that many children and grandchildren are very needy, which means they are always asking for things, especially from grandparents, so there could be a lot of reasons why your mate has chosen not to have an up-close relationship with his family.

When your children have children, continue to have a close relationship with them and forget about your mate and his attitude with his children and grandchildren. 

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks and he is probably too set in his ways, so don’t make a big deal out of it. Just focus on your relationship with your mate, your children and upcoming grandchildren.

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