Legal Age to Leave Kids at Home Alone

Aug. 31, 2016

Dear Cathy:

What is the legal age that I can start leaving my daughter alone at home to babysit herself? Home alone, Missouri

Dear Home Alone:

In the state of Georgia, many years ago it was 13, however, I probably broke a few other rules by leaving her to babysit her younger sister, who was 12. However, mothers, especially single mothers have to do what they have to do but not get caught.

When is a child old enough to stay at home alone? While a kid's maturity level should definitely come into play, some states have age restrictions—or at least guidelines—for how old is old enough to be unsupervised.

Database Systems Corp, which provides a call reassurance service that calls latchkey kids and seniors to make sure they're safe, compiled this data for each state.

Surprisingly, most states don't have any minimum age requirements. The ones that do range from age 6 (a recommendation in Kansas) to 14 (required in Illinois). The most common ages, among the states that have a recommendation or legal requirement, are age 8, 10, and 12.

Can’t Have Friends of the Opposite Sex

Aug. 30, 2016

Dear Cathy:

I retired from my job after over 30 years. I worked closely with several female friends for a long time, who I would like to keep in touch with. However, my wife wants me to cut off all my friendships of the opposite sex. Is this a reasonable request? Can’t Have Female Friends, FL

Dear Can’t Have Female Friends:

Your wife has insecurity issues and first and foremost you need to try to investigate to see where these are coming from. Many men or women don’t like for their mates or spouses to be jealous of them.

Many men and women have friends of the opposite sex. However, unless you have conducted yourself inappropriately, when around these females in the past, then your wife should ease up on these restrictions. 

But if you want to create harmony in your home, it might be best to just cut off these ties and call it a day. Remember the phase, “Happy Wife, Happy Life.”

I Grew Up in Negative Environment

Aug. 29, 2016

Dear Cathy:

I am a 19 year old female and live with a female roommate. I have a job in a local book store. When I was young my mother always told me I was ugly and fat and I can’t seem to get these negative comments out of my head. I am no longer living close to my mother, but I am still having trouble getting over what happened to me growing up. What can I do? Bad Childhood, MI

Dear Bad Childhood:

It’s unfortunate that you were brought up in such a negative environment. But what you need to understand is that your upbringing do not have to dictate your future. It’s important to feel good about yourself and it all starts with you having ‘will power’ and ‘self-discipline’ to do what you need to do in your life -- to make you feel worthy.

You have to work on your ownself by eating good foods, especially brain foods that makes you feel good about yourself such as green foods, which releases serotonin in your brain. Take Vitamin D3 supplements, which are the mood supplements. Also Omega 3 Fish Oil or Flaxseed Oil Supplements are good for your entire body, especially your brain.

Again work on yourself by exercising, which releases ‘feel-good’ endorphins and getting plenty of rest. You did great by moving away from such a negative environment and again it’s strictly up to you how you live your life.

You work in a book store so that’s a great place to start to really work on yourself. Read books in the self-help section of the book store. Make sure you are hanging out with good friends, people who care about you because family is no always about blood.

If you can do all these things mentioned today, then you will definitely be on your way to live the type of life that you can truly love and appreciate. 

Was I Wrong To Ask My Boyfriend To Choose Between Me or the Dog?

Aug. 25, 2016

Dear Cathy:

I met a wonderful man, however, he has an extremely big dog, a pit bull, which I am not comfortable with. I like dogs but this dog scares me and I have never lived with a dog before. I asked  him to choose between me or the dog. Do our relationship have a chance? Scared of Dog, Texas

Dear Scared of Dog:

Sure your relationship has a chance but how can you say you like dogs and you are scared of your boyfriend’s dog. All dogs are the same. Some are small and some are large but basically they are the same and many have the same temperament.

Tell your boyfriend how you feel about his dog so he can come up with some ways to get you use to his dog. I suggest going to the dog park and watch how the dog interacts with your boyfriend, other people and other dogs.

You need to remember up front that a dog is a man’s best friend so there is no way your boyfriend is going to give up his dog for you. So your only choice is to get comfortable with his dog or end the relationship.

My Mate Doesn’t Enjoy Kissing and Hugging

Aug. 24, 2016

Dear Cathy:

I am 43 and recently got into a serious relationship and moved in with my mate who is 45. However, six months after moving in, my mate stopped kissing and hugging me. 

He said those types of things have really never turned him on. He has been married twice so what can I do to make him realize how important kissing and hugging is to me. Lack of Kissing and Hugging, Kansas

Dear Lack of Kissing and Hugging:

There are lots of reasons that your mate probably doesn’t like intimacy in your relationship. Maybe he came from a family that did not show affection so this might be the only thing he knows. This could also be the reason he has been divorced twice because many women do enjoy intimacy such as kissing and hugging in a relationship.

If he did these things satisfactory for 6 months and just stopped, then something else might be at play. A lot of time when relationships gets old or when men thinks that they no longer have to satisfy a woman, they will stop showing affections for them by stopping kissing, hugging and even having sex.

However, you should have a good talk with him and let him know how you feel and how you want things to go back the way they were when you first moved in. In order for most couples to have a good relationship, they just need to treat each other the way they did when they first met.

It worked good enough for the both of you to come together, so unless he dedicates himself to getting back to where the relationship started, you will have to settle for a lack of intimacy in your relationship or choose to work with a couple’s counselor to get back on track.

If he is not willing to do these things, then maybe your relationship is not for you. Only you can decide how important intimacy is in a relationship.

Is 35 Too Old for Braces?

Aug. 22, 2016

Dear Cathy:

I have hated my teeth my entire life and knew I needed braces from a very early age. However, I was raised by a single mother and she could not afford them. So now that I am financially secure, is 35 years old too old to get braces. Getting Braces, Indianapolis

Dear Getting Braces:

There is one thing that everyone deserves in this lifetime and that is having a beautiful smile so no 35 is not too old to get braces. In some cultures the age of 35 is considered to be a very young person.

Remember at age 30 you still have 80% of your productive life left ahead of you, so getting braces now and doing other things that will improve your look, will not only help your self-esteem as you age, but it will also motivate others around you to take steps in their own lives to improve themselves.

So you are a good example to others that it is never too late to do the things that will make you feel good about yourself. I congratulate you and say “job well done” and “go for it.”

Am I Good Enough for My Boyfriend?

Aug. 19, 2016

Dear Cathy:

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years and the relationship is serious. However, my boyfriend is really smart and is getting his Master’s degree but I dropped out of community college. Am I good enough to be with him? Non-educated, Missouri

Dear Non-Educated?

It doesn’t matter if you are not educated the same as your boyfriend. If he treats you with respect and love you, then sometimes that’s enough. However, if you feel you still need to get some type of education, then get out there and do it.

There are many opportunities to get out there and get some type of education today, however, never allow a relationship to make you feel less than just because both of you don’t have the same level of education.

It’s actually reversed today and many women in relationships are educated and many men are not but again none of that should come into play when there is true love involved. 

Talk with your boyfriend about how you feel and see if he encourages you to go back to school or tell you that he loves you just the way you are.

Street smarts trump book smart at all levels and don’t forget that many people did very well in life and they were self-taught. Again don’t allow the fact that your boyfriend is more educated than you make you feel less than. You are just as worthy as your boyfriend.

Should I Ask My Sister to Leave My Place?

Aug. 18, 2016

Dear Cathy:

My parents and my sister don’t get along at all so I told her she could stay with my boyfriend and me until she gets on her feet. She is extremely pretty and I trust her but my boyfriend has a wandering eye. Is it safe to allow her to stay with me for just a little while? Wandering Eye, Texas

Dear Wandering Eye:

You have heard the old saying that three is a crowd and it certainly might be in your case. If you don’t want any trouble in your relationship, instead of putting your sister up at your place, opt to help her get a job and a place of her own, maybe even with a roommate of her own.

Men with wandering eyes don’t stop overnight so while your sister is living with you try to keep an eye on them. Try not to leave them home alone if you can help it.

However, it you are in a relationship where you have to keep an eye on your mate, then maybe it is not worth it. Just sit your sister down and tell her how you feel about your boyfriend and you would appreciate it if she respects you while she is living with you.

Should My Husband and I Merge Our Bank Accounts?

Aug. 17, 2016

Dear Cathy:

I just got married and my husband wants to merge our bank accounts. However, he has bad credit and brought a lot of debt into the marriage so is this a good idea? Merging Bank Accounts

Dear Merging Bank Accounts:

Remember the number one reason that most couples end up divorcing and going their own way is because of finances, so it’s important to know this going into any relationship.

When many couples get married, they put all their money into joint accounts, while a small percentage keep everything separate. Married couples should try different ways of handling the money to see what works for them.

When one spouse enters the marriage with a high debt load, you need to find a way to blend your finances comfortably, without feeling like you are under pressure from your spouse.

Overtime once kids and mortgages come into play, many couples find out that merging all their finances is simply easier. But unless you’re both comfortable with the idea, there’s no need to rush things.