Husband Refuses to Discuss Family Issues with Wife

Jan. 20, 2016

Dear Cathy:

I am a housewife so I stay home and take care of our three children who are pre-teens. My husband don’t like talking in bed about things regarding the household so I have tried to restrict these types of conversations out of the bedroom. 

I try to get my husband to a certain place in the home where we can talk but it never works. By the time we get to a spot where we can talk, he is already trying to be defensive. What’s the best way to get your spouse to talk about things that you need to talk about?  Mad at Husband, Birmingham

Dear Mad:

Don't get mad because hostility is not the answer. Some men work really hard at work and have to put up these fronts all day long so by the time they arrive home from work, they go inwards.

However, your husband is not a child and if he refuses to talk to you about family issues or to hold a conversation about the two of you, it seems he is not acting like part of the family. 

Men do need that quiet time when they first get home in the evening but after an hour or two, he needs to open up and talk about things that affects both of you directly. If he doesn’t do this, then you both need to work with a family therapist or counselor. 

Also try writing him a letter and tell him how you feel but first take a look in the mirror and make sure you are doing everything you can to continue to keep the flame burning.

Even if there is no mutual exchange at the time, you must continue to show your husband that you love him, care for him and appreciate everything he does for you. However, let him know that you need more out of the marriage.  Remember “Men Are From Mars and Women from Venus.”