Thursday, March 17, 2016

38, Single But Ready for Motherhood

May 17, 2016

Dear Cathy:

I am a successful business woman, 38 years old and still single. I have yet to meet Mr. Right but I believe my time is running out to have a baby the old-fashioned way. What are my options? Ready for Motherhood, Washington, DC

Dear Ready for Motherhood:

There are a lot of options for you at this time. Just because you don’t have that special someone in your life, a lot of women today are going ahead with motherhood. You can go to a sperm bank and use a donor or ask a close friend to donate.

Not everyone gets pregnant the old-fashioned way anymore. Gay and lesbian couples, couples suffering from infertility and surrogate mothers are a few examples of people who often become pregnant without having intercourse. 

There are several effective methods for conceiving without traditional intercourse. Of these methods, the least expensive and clinical is artificial insemination at home. 

This is called the “turkey baster” method. Artificial insemination at home involves introducing sperm to the mother’s vagina with a syringe instead of through intercourse.

First you need to locate a source of sperm. Contact a sperm bank for information about purchasing donor sperm. Or contact a close family friend and ask him to donate. 

Sperm bank sperm has an advantage over acquaintance sperm because it’s rigorously tested to and matched to you in a way that reduces the risk of genetic diseases. 

Because of this, it can cost upwards of $300 per sample. Getting sperm from a friend is free, but your disease risk is higher unless you both submit to testing and genetic counseling.

Next monitor your fertility to determine when you’re fertile. Use a fertility monitor or ovulation predictor kit from your drug store to detect when you are ovulating. Plan to inseminate on the day the kit tells you – you are ovulating and the day after if possible.

Defrost your sperm according to the sperm bank’s instructions or ask your donor to produce your sample into a specimen cup immediately before you plan to inseminate. 

Take a pregnancy test two weeks after insemination if you don’t have a period. If your test is negative, repeat the process the next time you ovulate.

You need to act now because at 40 years of age, there are many risk factors of mothers who have babies. The desire to nurture and to share life as a family is a strong universal need that is felt by a large number of people and one that is not exclusive to married people or couples. 

If you are not comfortable using any of these two ways mentioned in this response, then think about adopting a child. Today many adoption agencies are giving kids to single mothers.

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