Jul. 3, 2015
Dear Cathy:
At 55, I am being wooed
by 2 different suitors who live in other states. One I think I could be happy with, even
though I have been living with my current mate for over a year. My mate and I have a long history together,
an on and off relationship for the past 20 years, and even though I have not
been unfaithful to him, six months ago he stopped showing any affections toward me.
I have tried to talk to
him about issues he might be having but he abruptly tells me he doesn’t want to
talk about anything. So I am torn
between leaving him because of his lack of desire for affection for me even
though he is financially secure. What
should I do? Financially Secure Mate, San
Diego
Dear Financially Secure Mate:
Six months is a very long time but before bolting for the
door, first talk to your mate and ask him if you both can go and see a family
therapist or counselor. Even though he
might have some type of health issue that he is not willing to share with you,
if he is not opened to the idea of working with these individuals, then maybe
it’s time to try something new.
However,
instead of jumping from relationship to relationship, maybe you need to spend
some time alone to work on your own self. Many men (and women) don’t
know that they are making their mate unhappy and sometimes you might even need
to put it in a letter. Remember “Men Are
From Mars” and “Women Are from Venus.”
Life is short and
despite being with someone who is financially secure, money don’t make anyone
happy and it certainly can’t buy happiness.
Just remember, however, that the pastures are not always greener on the
other side so you might need to work on loving your own self before making a
leap to leave your mate.
You have a long history with your mate so ask yourself if you are
actually being true and trying to work things out or is your mate totally unresponsive
to your needs. But still I would not
stay with anyone that is totally ignoring your needs. Again, life is too short!!!
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