Falling Out of Love With Mate

Nov. 24, 2015

Dear Cathy:

I am retired and I have known my mate for 15 years, who is also retired, so when he asked me to move in with him -- I did.  I left my family and friends and drove cross-country to be with this man but after 2 years I am ready to call it quits.

At one time I thought I could live the rest of my life with this man but I no longer love him.  His habits have really gotten on my last nerve so I am thinking about leaving.  However, he is financially secure and doesn’t make me pay any of the bills so I am torn between leaving or staying.  Falling Out of Love, California

Dear Falling Out of Love:

Moving and changing your life is never easy and a lot of people don’t like change.  That’s why they will continue in a relationship that is obviously not going anywhere because again -- they don’t like change.

Money isn’t everything.   It’s doesn’t define who you are as an individual and just because your mate is financially secure, doesn’t mean you should hang on to him. 

Life is meant to be lived fully and if you are in a relationship with someone and you are not totally happy, then maybe it’s time to move on. 

If you can’t sit down and have a civil conversation with your mate about his habits, which you can’t no longer take, then again, maybe it’s time to move on.

We all think life is suppose to go one way but it ends up going another so you have to be ready to make decisions and choices in your life that will bring you total happiness. 

You are only responsible for yourself, not anyone else, so if you no longer love your mate, then you need to start making plans to leave.

You’ll never know when you will meet Mr. Right but it certainly won’t happen wasting your most valuable years staying in a stale relationship -- which is like beating a dead horse.